There are some things, simple to other people, significant to myself, that define me. Public things that I call my own. Songs. Books. Movies. Quotes. Pictures. I actively try not to take offense when someone claims to love something like I do. I don't doubt that you looovvvvee "Stars & Boulevards," but I'm pretty sure that it hits me differently than it hits you. The emotions it evokes, the memories it resurfaces aren't better than yours, just different. I am constantly adding things to my list, sometimes physically jotting down not nouns, but adjectives that encompass a large part of who I am. I try to be as honest with myself as I can - not to ignore my negative traits and just write down "loyalty, bravery, independence..." words that you often find framed on the walls of middle school classrooms.
I know I am a perfectionist...maybe that is why I struggle with my contrasting characteristics. Growing up, I was a trademark exhibitionist and extrovert. Putting on plays with my family. Finding pride in being different, weird. Singing for house guests at the whim of my mama. Speaking my mind without one of those necessary filters. Nowadays, the word GUARDED would be in bold at the top of my list. I don't
mean "guarded" as in I am overcautious of new people or different situations. I love going out of my comfort zone. I don't mean shy, either. Just hard to get to know. I don't try to draw attention to myself anymore, but prefer to fly under the radar.
I just like to hear your voice and pretend to touch any inch of you that hasn't said it all or read it all or sung my life away.
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